[ [ megorious ] ]

05 January 2009

Senator Leahy Isn’t Intimidated By Guns

As I noted back in June, Senator Patrick Leahy (D, Vermont) isn’t intimidated by thugs. The man was not afraid to get in The Joker’s face at Bruce Wayne’s fundraiser for Harvey Dent in The Dark Knight. Of course, that was just a work of fiction. (Or was it…?) Leahy is also the man who prompted Vice President Dick Cheney to yell “Go fuck yourself!” on the floor of the US Senate. That’s right — Senator Leahy has stood up to both The Joker and The Penguin. So how did Senator Leahy handle himself after being confronted by the real life thugs of the US Border Patrol? Let’s just say, don’t fuck with Senator Patrick Leahy:

It’s interesting - I went through one of those symbolic checkpoints in the state of New York driving back here. It was about 125 miles from the border. In a car with license plate one on it from Vermont. With little letters underneath it that said US Senate. We were stopped and ordered to get out of the car and prove my citizenship. And I said “what authority are you acting under?” and one of your agents pointed to his gun and said “that’s all the authority I need.” Encouraging way to enter our country.

I’d really hate to be that border patrol officer right about now…

posted in Politicklish | No Comments »

Introducing MacBook Wheel

“…And nothing’s more simple than a single giant button.”

Apple Introduces Revolutionary New Laptop With No Keyboard

The best are the sentence suggestions when typing:

The aardvark admitted its fault.
The aardvark admitted it was wrong.
The aardvark asked for an aardvark.
The aardvark asked for a dagger.
The aardvark asked for health.
The aardvark asked for a ride.
The absinthe arrived by airmail.
The abortion went well.
The actor asked for an aardvark.
The actor asked for abstinance.
The actor asked for redemption.
The advertisement was effective.
The agile aardvark arrived by airmail.
The agile aardvark bathed with beauties.
The agriculture was cultivated by the coral.
The aggravated driver beeped on his horn.
The aggravated rooster scratched the dirt.
The Althusserian scholar gave his copy of Lacan’s “Ecrits” to the abortion doctor.
The amiable Althusserian scholar asked the aardvark for an absinthe.
The amiable crocodile brushed his teeth with a toothbrush.
The amiable doctor performed the operation admirably.
The annex was covered with asbestos.
The annex was crawling with beetles.
The apple was airmailed by the doctor.
The apple was consumed by the amiable crocodile.
The apple was inquiring about the amiable crocodile’s friend.
The aquamarine lifevest was not used.
The aquamarine lifevest was unpopular.
The armchair was uncomfortable.
The armchair was favoured by the amiable housecat.
The ass asked for a better absinthe.
The ass brayed the moon.
The assumptive doctor did not accept our personal check.
The assumptive agricultural expert eyed out absinthe suspiciously.
The attractive peanut farmer graded the term paper.
The attractive rooster preened its feathers to attract absinthe.
The auxiliary generator has malfunctioned.
The awning covered the agile aardvark during the amiable rainstorm.
The awning was too tall to touch.
The babbling baby asked the aardvark for some absinthe.

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Pat Hingle

Pat Hingle has passed away at the age of 84.

Before Gary Oldman reinvented and completely owned the role, Pat Hingle was the grandfatherly Commissioner Gordon in the first four Batman films. Hingle was a different kind of Gordon, a lighter and much older version who was unfairly kept in the background. He commented on the significance of the character on the special features DVD from 1989’s Batman.

Hingle was also a veteran of early television dramas and a mainstay in classic Hollywood westerns. His IMDB page lists nearly 200 film and television gigs.

posted in Film | No Comments »

03 January 2009

Cop a Feel

“Is that a gun in your pocket or are you happy to see me. Oh…”

Cop mistakes penis for gun

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02 January 2009

New Year’s Resolutions

This year I resolve to eat more and read healthier. Wait, I mean read more and eat healthier. Yeah, that makes more sense. I also plan to write more and blog less. That’s not inverted….

posted in Blog | One Comment »

31 December 2008

The Best Shows of 2008

1. LOST
2. The Wire
3. Pushing Daisies
4. Battlestar Galactica
5. Mad Men
6. The Daily Show with Jon Stewart & The Colbert Report
7. 30 Rock & Tina Fey as Sarah Palin on Saturday Night Live
8. The Office
9. It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia
10. Breaking Bad

And the absolute worst show on TV is: Heroes.

posted in TV | No Comments »

22 December 2008

Layover Live Blogging

1:29 — My motherfucking flight has been delayed again. Estimated motherfucking time of motherfucking departure: motherfucking 4:00 PM.

12:55 — My flight has been delayed again. Estimated time of departure: 2:30 PM.

12:36 — Eleven bucks for a crunchy cheeseburger and chocolate shake. This is runway rapery!

12:31 — Jet Blue has now pushed my flight back even further. Estimated time of departure: 1:42 PM.

11:42 — Jet Blue has now pushed my flight back even further. Estimated time of departure: 1:25 PM.

10:27 — All layovers should come with a free lay.

10:25 — Oh goodie. Jet Blue just changed our gate number, so now I get to wander about looking for that new perfect spot.

9:50 — I want to show the Jet Blue people a magic pencil trick.

9:45 — I think Jet Blue should give me some sort of compensation. Perhaps a free World’s Cleanest™ Pillow. 9 minutes ago from web

9:39 — The woman working behind the Jet Blue counter is named Fay. But she’s not nearly as kind as Fay from the classic 90s sitcom ‘Wings.’

9:34 — Jet Blue has “universal jacks” on all of their flights for headphones.

9:31 — I would ravage any other airline right now if I could. Oh well, at least I brought The Dark Knight with me.

9:18 — I’ve got Jet Blue Balls.

9:15 — I have nothing better to do than bitch on Twitter about how perturbed I am. I only get seven days and the first day has been cut in half.

9:14 — Another thing: I checked my flight status before I left–no delay. Now that it is delayed you’d think they’d update the website. NOPE.

9:10 — I’m stranded at Logan “Wolverine” International Airport because Jet Blue fucked up royally and now my flight is departing at 12:42 instead of 9:30.

posted in Blog | One Comment »

19 December 2008

Hot Donuts

I woke up way too early this morning and was seriously craving donuts. I really want some hot, delicious donuts right out of the fryer. Dunkin’ Donuts does not make donuts on site, they are shipped in from some factory. And they suck. Dunkin’ Donuts has awful, cardboard donuts. There, I said it.

Is there anywhere in Boston or Brookline where one can aquire hot and delicious melt-in-your-mouth donuts?

posted in Boston | No Comments »

Migrosa

noun
A cocktail-like drink composed of cheap red wine and extra pulpy orange juice that has gone through the process of depulpification. It is traditionally served at room temperature or warmer in a dirty glass or whatever is handy. It is traditionally concocted while on psychedelic drugs and should never be consumed.

(2) | use Migrosa in a sentence »

Eddie Murphy's Law

1. A supposed law of Hollywood, to the effect that anything that can go wrong will go wrong when the actor Eddie Murphy is involved.

2. A supposed law of the actor Eddie Murphy, to the effect that Eddie Murphy must play a minimum of four characters in any film in which Eddie Murphy stars.

(0) | use Eddie Murphy's Law in a sentence »

Batshit Insanity!

There are so many things wrong with this “exclusive” by the tabloid The Sun that I just don’t know where to begin. The “article” claims that Eddie Murphy has been cast as The Riddler, Shia Lebeouf as Robin, and Rachel Weisz as Catwoman in the next Batman film, scheduled to come out in 2010. The Sun offers no proof, just a Photoshopped image of Murphy wearing Jim Carrey’s revealingly skintight costume from 1995’s Batman Forever, superimposed onto the background of one of the posters from The Dark Knight. It’s enough to make you want to throw up in your mouth a little…

First of all, everyone knows Eddie Murphy won’t do a film unless he gets to play at least half of the characters, it’s called Eddie Murphy’s Law. For instance: Murphy would have to be offered the roles of The Riddler, Catwoman, and Robin. He’d probably also demand that he get to play Batman and Alfred. Also, every thing Eddie Murphy touches turns to shit. That’s also called Eddie Murphy’s Law, which is not to be confused with Eddie Murphy Raw.

I highly doubt Christopher Nolan is looking to cast another Batman film right now. He’s gone on record as saying that if he does a third film he’d like to first direct something smaller, kind of like how he did The Prestige between Batman Begins and The Dark Knight. I bet a third Batman film isn’t even on his mind right now. And any film involving the addition of Robin is a sure way to destroy the whole franchise. In fact, any film involving Shia Lebeouf is just a dumb idea.

For further proof about the reliability of The Sun, one need look no further than this line from the same article:

Nolan had been tight-lipped about the future of the Batman films after being rocked by the January death of HEATH LEDGER — tipped to receive a posthumous Oscar for his role as The Joker in Batman Returns.

Batman Returns is Tim Burton’s 1992 sequel that features Danny DeVito as The Penguin and Michelle Pfeiffer as Catwoman.

posted in Film | No Comments »

17 December 2008

Time’s Person of the Year 2008

Barack Obama is Time’s Person of the Year for 2008. And here I thought it was going to be Sarah Palin…

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Hitchcock Tease Barbie®

For the spoiled little princess who has everything: Alfred Hitchcock’s The Birds Barbie® Doll.

(Thanks to Peg for the linkage.)

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15 December 2008

“Hi Mom!”

There are many interesting things to learn about The Dark Knight thanks to the two-disc special edition DVD. Probably the most fascinating tidbit is that Heath Ledger directed the two scenes where The Joker uses a hand-held camera. Apparently, Christopher Nolan wasn’t even on set during these scenes. Ledger had total control.

Here you see Anthony Michael Hall as Gothom Tonight anchor Mike Engel hanging upside down.