Date Package Catalogue
In an effort to sort out the mess that has been my Boston dating circus I have come up with a list of dating packages for the ladies to select from.
Date Package #1 - The Casual
This wonderful evening includes a walk through the park then dinner at a casual restaurant, perhaps drinks too. Top off the evening with ice-cream and a good night kiss.
Date Package #2 - The Contenential
***BEST VALUE***
Walking, lots of talking, drinks and appetizers. Then we go back to either your or my place for a movie, which we don’t pay attention to….if you know what I mean….and I think you don’t.
Date Package #3 - The Executive
This fancy evening involves drinks at a posh bar followed by dinner at one of Boston’s finest restaurants. After dinner we shall sip espresso accompanied with petit fours. With all the money I’m shelling out you better at least touch it.
Date Package #4 - The Kinky
Heavy drinking, make out session in an ATM booth. Back to your place for heavy petting, lots of dry humping and a nipple cameo.
Date Package #5 - The Nasty
Soo fucking drunnk…..Someone pukes….I keep missing and hitting your belly button. Skeet skeet. Hung over like a bitch the next morning. Who the fuck are you?
Date Package #6 - The Ohhhh Riiiight
Drinks at a bar, we run into your bi-curious girlfriend from school…need I go on?
Date Package #7 - The Mystery
I spike your drink and you wake up the next morning in a bathtub full of ice.