Megorious

I woke up early this morning, much earlier than I had hoped, so I decided to make it a relaxing and casual morning. I read The New Yorker, played with Linus for a bit, and then caught the last half of Best in Show on Comedy Central. Good mornings don’t get any better than that.

After my shower, I tracked over to Peet’s Coffee and Tea to do some homework. After I stalked out my table, I sat and enjoyed my tasty and refreshing coffee. There was this older gentleman there, asking customers to fill out a survey about Peet’s. He was highly organized, with clipboards and pens and moxie. Actually, he wasn’t very good at persuading customers to fill out the survey; not because people turned him down, but because he hadn’t bothered to ask many people. After about ten minutes of actual work, he asked me, not noticing the stack of scripts I needed to read for class. I agreed to the survey because I knew I would score a free coffee card. It only took me a couple of minutes.

Then, something happened. I’m not exactly sure how it started because it happened so fast. He randomly volunteered some information about his occupation, then asked me a simple question, “Do ever go to downtown Boston?” I informed him that indeed I do, since I go to Emerson College. Now, what are the chances that this old man had once worked for Emerson College?

What follows is mostly accurate. I paraphrased bits and pieces based off of what I could remember. Since most of the information is repetitive it was fairly easy to remember most of it. None of it has been over-exaggerated.

The following takes place between 10:35 AM and 11:58 AM….

What began with an innocent statement, suddenly spiraled down into what can only be described as harassment. This old man, I never got his name, told me a story that made no coherent sense whatsoever. His ranting spawned tangent after tangent after tangent. Each point he made segued into another pointless story. At first I paid attention, with the thought that it would soon be over, but after the first tangent, I realized I was trapped.

I worked for the committee that helped place students in jobs that could give them school credit. Students would come to us and we’d help them find jobs and then they’d get credit towards graduation. This was back when Emerson was spread all over downtown. Everything wasn’t all cozy on Boylston Street like it is now. Back then they considered moving the school to Lowell. Now I lived in Lowell for quite some time. When it snows in Boston it really snows in Lowell. If you get a foot of snow in Boston, Lowell gets two.

I tried everything I could to let him know that I could care less about his story, which never seemed to have a purpose, other than the fact that decades ago he had once worked for the college I now attended.

…Now back then The Majestic [one of Emerson's many theatres] was a movie theatre. They showed films, not the plays they put up on stage these days. I went to many shows back then, of course they were much cheaper. I hardly ever take in a show now. It’s far too expensive. My friend Susan and I used to walk through the Boston Common at night, on our way back from a show, even if it was snowing. Unless it snowed a lot then we’d probably take a car or the trolley. Now, back then they didn’t have nearly as many stops on the trolley as they do now. And it was a lot less expensive too….

At this point I just started doing things on my computer, that way I could occasionally look up at him to make him think I was paying attention. I hit an obstacle though. I couldn’t get online because the signal was too weak. If I wanted to get a signal I would have to move up to the front.

…Now, the president back then was from California. He wanted to revolutionize the way things were done. Boy did he have some bold plans. People were skeptical though. California was a little wacky back then…

Since I had stopped listening to him, I thought he was talking about Ronald Reagan. He was President back then and was also from California. Now, I have friends who live in California, mostly in the San Francisco Bay Area, but a few in the Los Angeles area as well, which is where Emerson has a campus. LA is one possibility where I could go for an internship.

…Now, they ultimately didn’t move the school to Lowell. They felt it would serve more purpose in Boston, which had begun to grow a reputation as a college town…

Jesus crappin Christ. Is he ever going to stop?

…We had meetings at a building on Boylston Street. It was near the intersection of Tremont and Boylston. I don’t recall the name of it but I believe they use it for dormitories now. What was the name of that building?

This wasn’t a question for me, it was for himself. He looked up and pondered for a moment. I, of course, knew the answer but was afraid to speak up. He could very well start off on another rant. But if I didn’t speak up, he might start rambling off other stories in an effort to refresh his memory. So I told him that it’s the Little Building.

...Oh that’s right. The Little Building. It was just around the corner from The Majestic. Our committee met there on certain days of the week, but the days were never the same. This was a decision made by the committee chair at the time, Jackie Liebergott. She was probably the best committee head we ever had. Of course I’m of the Jewish descent, just like her….

As I prepared to move up to the front of the seating area I heard him say this, though I wasn’t sure why. Though I’m certain it wasn’t relevant to the story. This had ceased to be a story with a point a long time ago. It was completely random.

…It was around this time that I thought about getting into consumer relations. I could have stayed on at the college but a friend of mine told me that I would be good talking to people…

Is this the point? Please let it be the point.

…Jackie could have gone far with the school. I wonder what happened to her? I haven’t thought about her in years….

For the record, Jackie Liebergott is now the President of Emerson College.

…I left the committee to pursue consumer relations after my friend suggested it. She was in management services. Do you know what people in management services do?

YES.

Well she was in management services and that’s how I ended up here at Peet’s today. Talking to you. Small world.

It was over. I subtly mentioned that I had homework to do and also that I needed to move up front for a stronger connection. That’s when he went up to the counter and told the barrista that I needed a table. Then, and I kid you not, he started to tell them the exact story he told me.

He needs a table. Got some homework to do for Emerson College, which is where he goes to school. I used to work for Emerson College back when the school was spread out all over Boston. It wasn’t always confined to Boylston Street, like it is now….

At least he wasn’t my problem anymore. He got cut off when some patrons came in. It’s a shame he didn’t get to tell his story again. He wandered over to solicit another patron, his first since he bothered me. “Ladies, would you like to fill out a survey today about this wonderful restaurant? I mean coffee house.”

I was settled in to my new table when, a few minutes later, he returned to pester me. This time he asked what I studied. I told him television, film, and writing. I also mentioned that I had a lot of work to do, with the hopes he would go away.

Oh that’s a good field to be in. Everyone has a television and everyone loves to go to shows. My friend Susan and I used to take in a show or two at The Majestic. Back then they used to show films though. Susan’s kid went to Emerson, but that was many years ago. Their names are Bobby and, I think, Darla, but Darla didn’t go to Emerson, only Michael did. You should look them up. I think one of them studied consumer marketing too, like their mother. That’s how I got in this business after I worked at the college. I’ve thought about going back. They probably still have my resume on file. But I like what I do now. And that’s important in life. Being happy.

He stood over me in an awkward silence for a moment. We exchanged niceties and he wandered off. I quickly put on my head phones. He returned one last time but only to give me the free coffee card. Mission accomplished.

This Boston entry was posted Friday, April 20th, 2007 at 10:02 am.
Tags: Boston, Brookline, Coolidge Corner, Peets