Freak of the Week: Dr. Phil (Astin)
If there is one thing that Star Wars has taught me, it’s that for every good there is an equal evil. The same kinda goes for the real world but the line between the two often lacks clarity. If Osama Bin Laden is bad, then George W. Bush must be good. Yeah, there’s not a lot of logic to it.
Using this theoryan, I can deduce that there logically has to be some sort of opposite for everyone. Take Nancy Grace for example, there must be some sort of opposite who surely must be a more descent person than she is, right? Unless of course Nancy Grace is ‘good.’ If that’s the case then say, oh I don’t know, Ann Coulter, is bad. The point I’m not making here is this: there is always someone worse.
I’ve always considered TV personality Dr. Phil (McGraw) to be a bulbous stain on society. He’s not an impossible to-get-out stain, like red Kool-Aid, he’s more like a pasta stain – he’ll go away on the surface but really he seeps down into the padding below and you’ll see (and smell) him again when you rip up that carpet years from now.
Apparently though, I was wrong. Dr. Phil McGraw is good because there is an antiphil in Dr. Phil Astin, the former doctor of Chris Benoit, the WWE wrestler who killed himself after killing his wife and seven year-old son last week.
CNN | Feds: Benoit’s steroid purchases were ‘excessive’
Dr. Phil Astin prescribed a 10-month supply of anabolic steroids to Chris Benoit every three to four weeks between May 2006 and May 2007, a Drug Enforcement Administration agent said in an affidavit filed Friday and made public Monday.
There’s no doubt about it, the WWE had a rough week. Last Monday, once word of Chris Benoit’s death leaked, the WWE threw together a two-hour retrospective.
The show started off with a “In Memory of Chris Benoit 1967-2007″ graphic. Vince McMahon was standing in the middle of the ring in the empty arena in Corpus Christi, Texas, and acknowledged that tonight was supposed to be about the demise of the “Mr. McMahon” character, but in reality Chris Benoit, his wife Nancy, and young son Daniel were found dead in their home. After offering condolences to Benoit’s extended family, Vince said tonight will be a tribute to Chris, as we will hear from his peers and witness some of the most memorable moments of Benoit’s life.
Oops. Mistakes of that caliber are hard to erase. This entire ordeal raises some serious questions about rampant steroid use and the future of professional wrestling. But don’t worry, someone is already asking the important questions: Sean Hannity debates the Ultimate Warrior.
I grew up watching wrestling with three brothers and hardly any parental supervision. We had fake wrestling matches in our living room; instead of steel chairs, we used pillows; instead of jumping off the top rope, we jumped off the couch; and instead of steroids, we drank Kool-Aid. It was fun but it also wasn’t real, just like professional wrestling. So why the hell did a fake wrestler need real steroids? That is just one of the many questions that you, Dr. Phil Astin, should be thinking about while you are in a real prison.
July 16th, 2007 at 3:54 pm
“nstead of steel chairs, we used pillows;”
wusses.