Sleepy’s on Boylston St. in Boston had quite a mess on its hands this afternoon. “The Mattress Professionals,” as they call themselves, had the sidewalk in front of the store showered with fliers advising potential patrons to think twice before shopping there.
Why is it every time a conservative pundit or columnist makes an attempt at humor they fail miserably? (Hello, Anne Coulter.) Do their frontal lobes lack the humor-processing pathway, thus rendering them incapable of successful satire? Fox News tried out its own conservative version of The Daily Show but failed due to lack of viewership and, oh what’s that other thing — comedy!
Maybe their comedy quandary originated from jealousy. It’s a little like Middle Child Syndrome, but instead of being in the middle, they’re on the right. When people who have a passionate desire to make others laugh simply cannot succeed, they become bitter and disillusioned. They cling to guns and religion and lame quips they obliviously assume are clever. Perhaps what’s most pitiful is that they don’t even realize it; they just assume the audience lacks a sense of humor. Conservative humorists — an oxymoron if there ever was one — can’t be Stephen Colbert because, whether they realize it or not, Colbert is making fun of them and their warped belief structure. That’s why he’s funny. You can only laugh at something that’s tongue-in-cheek if it’s clever. It’s a textbook case of thinking people are laughing with you when they’re actually laughing at you.
Howie Carr’s column from the Boston Herald (of the Apocalypse) “Newspaper” — “Test: How to Tell if You’re a Moonbat” — is a fine example of a botched attempt at humor. It’s basically a lump generalization and somewhat offensive stereotype of liberals, especially those that reside in Massachusetts, as observed by the conservative right. The clinker is not meant to be taken seriously but it’s also nowhere near clever. The delicious tragedy and poetic irony is that Carr isn’t quick enough to understand that he’s not even too clever by half. His delirious sense of self-satisfaction and accomplishment should suffice. Poor little fella.
The fact of the matter is that people like Howie Carr and Anne Coulter think they’re funny, while people like Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert know they’re funny. The sad part is that those who think they’re funny don’t know the difference.
For those who don’t know, moonbat is to a liberal as wingnut is a conservative. The difference here is that moonbat is not recognized as a word in the English language. Wingnut, however, was recently added. I guess the “liberal media” extends to dictionaries now, too.
A horrible multiple vehicle accident resulted in fiery death yesterday and all the Bostonist could do was crack jokes:
Hopefully you’re reading this on your iPhone or before leaving work, because you might have a crappy commute home if you go by Coolidge Corner. A couple of cars were involved in a fiery wreck right in front of the Gap store on Harvard Street. Maybe the drivers were distracted by some really nice chinos on display?
Classy.
It’s not just that the joke was tasteless — it was — but it simply wouldn’t have been funny in any context. It was just a lame joke that lacked even a trace of humor. And under the circumstances it was a lame joke with no class and incredibly tasteless timing.
The author of the post later claimed that she didn’t know anyone was in the vehicle at the time and was only making the joke based on the information that the accident happened in front of The Gap. Even though the post was accompanied by the above image of fiery horror.
I was inside the Walgreens in Coolidge Corner when the accident happened and let me tell you, when I exited I thought all hell had broken loose down the street based on the smoke and the amount of fire trucks, cops, and ambulances that were on the scene.
For the record, according to The Daily News Tribune:
A 79-year-old Newton man was killed and a 52-year-old Wellesley woman seriously injured in a fiery three-car crash in Coolidge Corner Thursday afternoon. Five children and a 32-year-old woman also sustained minor injuries, according to Brookline Police Capt. John O’Leary.
LOL!
Today marks the beginning of my least favorite time in Boston: Patriots Day, better known as the day of the Boston Marathon. (As usual, I’m sure a Kenyan will win.)
While the weather is beautiful and will remain pleasant until the hot, humid doldrums of summer, I simply hate this time of year in this city. There are people everywhere, the trains are slow and overcrowded (more so than usual) with tourists and Red Sox fans. And of course, with the Red Sox, comes the incessant, mindless screaming of drunk yeah dudes and their babbling bitches.
Last night I had to listen to said screaming while trying to read peacefully. For more that four hours all I could hear was piss-poor drunken singing, and redundant cheers of, “YEAHHHHHHH!” and “WOOOOOO!” and of course, “FUCKKKKKKKK YEAHHHHHHHHH! WOOOOOOOOOOOO!”
I’m not even sure if a game was on or if they were just watching Family Guy. Either way, it went on well into the night and resumed this morning just before noon. Even now as I type this at 3:30 in the afternoon, I can hear some form of affirmative response screaming coming from next door.
It’s a pity really; the weather is so nice out and all I want to do is open the windows and let in the cool, dry breeze, but I can’t because if I did, the volume of yeah dudes and babbling bitches would practically put them in my home.
“My home, Elaine. My home! The place where I sleep and come to play with my toys.”
Is it just me or does the Green Line seem to be teetering on the eve on destruction?
I’ve been riding the Green Line for three years now and it has always been an unpleasant and bumpy experience. Lately though, I feel like we could go flying off the tracks at any moment. I guess the Charlie Card’s image of a man hanging out of the window of an overcrowded trolley car is an accurate artistic rendering, perhaps even a chilling foreshadowing of what’s to come?
This morning I was jostled around more than usual. It’s one thing to nearly fall over when standing up and not holding on to the rails but I was sitting in one of the single seats on an old train. We obviously tilted off the tracks somewhat because the entire car jumped. We were all tossed around like toys. The driver didn’t make an announcement or anything, we just kept speeding and bumping and flailing along.
It’s bad enough that they can’t spray some WD-40 on the tracks near Boylston Station — that screeching is both deafening and nauseating — but now we have to be bruised and broken as well.
Last month nine people were injured in an accident after two Green Line trains collided. Next time we all might not be so lucky….
I think the tragic irony of the following image says enough.
MBTA-OK!
Last week when Jackie and I went trekking through the snow over at Hall’s Pond Sanctuary, we came across a picture hanging from a tree. It was really creepy to just randomly stumble across something like that. It was obviously attached to the tree by someone, but for what purpose? Does anyone in the Brookline/Boston area have any ideas as to what this could be about?
I’ve seen a lot of snow since living in Boston but usually the big snow storms and blizzards have nothing but dry, useless snow - the kind of snow that can’t be used to make a snowball. Well, Monday’s snow storm dumped close to a foot of moist snow over the Boston area. Jackie and I went out to explore. I took a ridiculous amount of photos, which can be seen on flickr:
full set | slideshow
And then there’s this video….
Well, the Boston Red Sox have made it to the World Series once again - a fairly impressive feat considering they were just there three short years ago. Funny how before 2004 they hadn’t won the national championship since 1918. Then I move to Boston and they make it to the World Series twice. Coincidence? Probably. We’ll see how they do once I leave Boston next year. Either way i could care less…
I normally wouldn’t quote the irritating Jar Jar Binks but I feel that his heartfelt line from 1999’s The Phantom Menace is appropriate for this situation. People in Boston know how to party. They love to drink and they especially love to get rowdy. The riot police were already out after the Red Sox’s victory over the Cleveland Indians earlier this week. You can bet they’ll be out in full-force starting tonight and every night until the World Series ends.
Back in 2004, after the Red Sox beat the Yankees, more than 80,000 screaming, belligerently-drunk fans crowded near Fenway Park. As the crowd grew more unruly they began breaking things, climbing on cars and lampposts, and swinging from trees. And that’s how they behaved when the Red Sox won. Imagine what would have happen if they had lost…
Naturally the city’s riot police came out in full-force. That’s when Victoria Snelgrove, a 21-year-old Emerson student, was hit in the eye with a pepper-spray canister. She died several hours later.
Regardless if the Red Sox win or lose, here’s hoping the police and, especially the people of Boston, can control themselves by exercising enough restraint for the sake of preventing another needless tragedy.
Boston used to be a city where people died for a purpose. I wish I lived in that Boston.
So I haven’t been able to post lately because my psychotic roommate, Funnel Dick, has hijacked the router in our apartment. I’m not exactly sure what he’s doing with his learned Apple Genius® knowledge but he completely shuts the rest of us out of teh internets. He claims to be doing nothing. He tells me the router, which I purchased just a few months ago, is broken, but he tells everyone else in the apartment that it’s me that keeps shutting it off. (He has a tendency to do this a lot.) Yet for some reason it only happens when he gets home. How curious… This morning he did it again before I was even awake, unless of course I did it in my sleep. Maybe that’s it!
