megorious

Since I went home for the holidays, Linus has been whoring around in Jackie’s room. It’s almost as if he prefers her bed over mine. Jackie’s friend busted him the other day and snapped this seductive picture. How adorably scandalous….

I specifically specified extra cheese.

This year, when buying your family’s Christmas ham, make sure you look for the official (and adorable) Megorious Seal of Approval.

A recent visit to Target with Rebecca revealed some of the frightening and despicable toys that are being produced these days. Make sure you start your holiday shopping extra early this year.

First up was the baby Shrek doll. I never saw Shrek 3 so maybe someone can elaborate for me: Did Shrek have a baby? This thing looks more like a Shrek fetus than a Shrek newborn.

Next was the demonic doll aptly named Baby Alive. Apparently giant creepy eyes are in this year.

But the most disturbing toy had to be the Dora the Explorer “Let’s get ready vanity.” I thought Dora the Explorer was an educational show. When did it become the training tool for a future generation of hot, mindless skanks?

Eugene Levy always seems to be popping into any movie poster he appears in. It almost seems as if he accidentally walked into frame and they decided to just keep him in. Well, what would happen if Eugene Levy just started popping into any film?

There’s this little boutique in Brookline that sticks out like a sore thumb, right next to my favorite place to get cake, Party Favors. It’s basically a Victoria Secret but for older, not as sexy women and moms. As you can see from this picture, the window displays are not enticing whatsoever. They don’t even bother to worry about proper wig placement.

Yesterday Corey, Droo, Dave and I traveled to Hull, MA to spend a day at the beach. When we first arrived, Droo had to find a bathroom while the rest of us had to find an ATM so we could purchase gray hamburgers to eat. After finding one ATM at an arcade that was “out of bills” we headed down to the friendliest convenience store in existence. On the way we passed a wooden crate marked “DANGER.” It had the kind of red stenciling you’d only expect to find on a crate of old dynamite. I won’t tell you what was in the danger crate but I will tell you that it was, indeed, extremely dangerous.

Even though it was a nice, sunny warm day in general, it was too cold and windy to actually enjoy the beach. Thankfully Corey’s parents have an immaculate estate with a slippery swimming pool just moments away from said beach. So Corey, Dave and I packed up and headed over to her parent’s estate in Hingham…. OH CRAP! WE FORGOT DROO!

Photo Gallery: One Hull of a Time

These eleven (hopefully) empty pizza boxes are not even the most boxes that we’ve had stacked up in our kitchen. Jenny informed me that at one time we had nineteen pizza boxes blocking out the sun in our kitchen. We like pizza a lot.

Two summers ago I had a run-in with the Coolidge Corner Animal Abuse Lady. Since then I have learned that no matter what, there will always be a craxy person yelling at people in Coolidge Corner. It’s just too good of a spot. I haven’t seen the Animal Abuse Lady in a while but that doesn’t mean there’s been a lack of yelling going on.

Meet Milton Kapner, aka Brother Nathanael. He was born into the Jewish faith before converting to the Orthodox Church in the late 1980s. He brings a whole new meaning to the term “crosswalk,” now that he spends his time doing The Last Supper big arms thing while screaming about Jesus in public places where people don’t want to hear it - anywhere. I’ve seen him in various spots around Boston but up until the other day, I always found myself without a camera.

You can’t miss him. He’s always dressed in black with a blinging big cross dangling from his neck and a big fuckoff beard right out of the bible. Besides his divinity, he welds two weapons of mass distraction: a giant crucifix and the most devout weapon of them all, the American flag.

Upon preparing this post I turned to Universal Hub, a Boston community weblog that carried a few of my posts in the past. I didn’t expect to stumble upon the mother load of information on Brother Nathanael. I never even expected to learn his name. I was wrong.

My path to righteousness, or perhaps the opposite (lefteousness?) started at the Overheard in Boston post, Trader Joe’s may not love Jesus. Apparently two days after I saw Brother Nathanael, he was at the Trader Joes in Brookline yelling at patrons. His Jesusantics did not go unnoticed and the Brookline police were called

You do see why the customers might feel threatened or harassed when they enter or leave the store and you’re shouting at them about Jesus… and why they complained to the staff, who had to call us…
- Brookline police officer to Brother Nathanael

From there I followed the trail to Involuntary Slacker which had more information and some pictures on the disturbance, including a comment posted by adamg that lead me to Universal Hub’s Brother Nathanael node. Apparently he gets around. Back in January the Brookline Tab reported that Brother Nathanael had been shot at in Colorado. Just a few days after the drive-by BB gun shooting, Brother Nathanael was harrassed by Warren W. Smith, a Dillon Valley, CO man who was later arrested. Apparently Smith also has a knack for dramatics:

At the time, Smith was holding a flagpole with both an American flag and a pirate flag on it. A 3-foot sword and a skull were also on the pole.

It didn’t take long for Brother Nathanael to flee Colorado since, according to talonvaki’s LiveJournal, he was back in the Boston area in early February, shouting outside South Station at the intersection of Summer Street at Atlantic Avenue.

As it turns out, Brother Nathanael is no stranger to LiveJournal. He has his own LJ, Nathanael Speaks! “and everybody listens” which includes a timeline of his path to righteousness on his profile. His archives indicate that he’s been posting since 2005.

Now back to my encounter because it has a surprise ending….

I wasn’t able to get any great shots; mayhaps because I spooked him with my camera, though that’s highly unlikely since you typically can’t spook a spook, or because I have no photography skills whatsoever. (For some professional shots of Brother Nathanael, czech out Sara Piazza’s Photography.)

I must have come across him just as his shift was ending (around 6:00 pm) because he put away his crucifix and went over to pack up his stuff from underneath one of the median street signs.

Then Brother Nathanael took off across Harvard Street, in front of traffic mind you, in what I assume was an attempt to make the train.

Just before he jetted across Harvard Street, I noticed that he dropped something, so I went over to czech it out. What he dropped was this:

He didn’t just drop it like it was hot, he dropped it like it was gayhotmovies.com. What Brother Nathanael dropped was a prepaid card with a scratch box for 30 free minutes from a gay adult website. Now there are many reasons as to why he could have had the prepaid card: It could be a prop he uses when he preaches that everyone is going to hell, or just something that was handed to him by a random solicitor, or maybe it actually was his. (Though I suspect he might prefer gayhotmonks.com.)

I’m curious to know the answer but not as curious as Brother Nathanael appears to be.

That isn’t a cape, it’s a cloak. Black velvet to be exact. The difference is that there is a hood hanging down in the back.

Two years ago Halloween fell on a Monday night. I was working at Restaurant L at the time and they decided to throw a party inside the restaurant for the employees and their friends. Hardly anyone came. I was broke at the time so i went as a vampire. All I had to buy was the black velvet cloak. I kept the cloak because you never know when one will come in handy.

The other day I mentioned to my roommates that I did indeed have a cloak. So I dragged it out for all to see. Corey and I took turns wearing it.

The Dunkin Donuts/Baskin Robbins hybrid stores in Boston recently jettisoned the ice cream side in exchange for an extended line of food-like products. As if the scary egg wasn’t enough, they now have gross mini pizzas and other various cheese covered, topped, and filled products. I for one won’t miss the ice cream since they only carried about 12 of the famous 31 flavors.

With the new “food” items, Dunkin Donuts now has 12 combo meals to choose from. Though the number six is suspiciously missing from the big board of heart burn. I suspect it may be some sort of super breakfast sandwich that they legally can’t advertise.

I sometimes forget how colorful Jenny’s room is. I recently came across this still frame from last summer, just shortly before Jenny moved into the tiny room known as purgatory. The walls are light yellow, the doors and molding are a dark pastel blue, and the radiator is red. The floors are shiny and new now but back then they were just another shade of blue.

Q: Why is that purgatory? (Erin)
A: Visiting Hours

Bikers in Boston are hardcore. You’d have to be since it is freaking scary to pedal out onto a busy street with the way people drive around here. Recently I found myself amongst a group of Harvard Street hooligans contemplating forming a gang but not just any gang, a bike gang. I suggested a good way to get their gang taken seriously was to claim a few Coolidge Corner businesses as their own. I suggested taking over J.P. Licks for starters.

Across the street from J.P. Licks is a Japanese restaurant called Takeshima (tak-uh-she-ma). The ring leader of the Brookline Bike Gang suggested that they could, “Take Shima over.” But they didn’t.

J.P. Licks is an ice-cream parlor I frequent a few times a week. (A few would be three.) Normally during the winter J.P. Licks is dead but this winter it has been anything but. I frequent J.P. Licks so often that I’m on a first name basis with many of the scoopers.

This is Lucy. She works at J.P. Licks. She hates it. Typically she would be bored on any given winter evening but not on this unseasonably mild evening when the line of patrons stretched out the door. Poor Lucy found herself without a gun. And just look at all the buttons on that touch-screen. Christ.

There is a school in Brookline called The Devotion School. It’s located at the end of Devotion Street, which is a dead end street. Irony Alert!

This is where I do it all. Well, unless of course I’m laying in bed, or sitting on the couch, or at a coffee shop, or in the library, or not paying attention in class… But if I’m working from my desk, it would be this very desk. Megorious isn’t it?

I get excited when I get letters in the mail. Sending someone a handwritten letter is so personal. Recently I checked the mail and found this letter, addressed to me, from God Yes, that God. There was no return address. This disappointed me because I wanted to reply to God. I couldn’t though. Sigh.

Does Heaven even have a zip code?