BK STACKERS
HELLO AGAIN AMERICA, TED HERE WITH THE LATEST IN EATIN’….
WHILE SOME FAST FOOD CHAINS, LIKE THOSE SUPERCILIOUS BASTARDS AT MCDONALDS, ARE TRYING TO CREATE A HEALTHIER IMAGE FOR THEMSELVES, OTHERS ARE STEPPING UP TO FILL THAT BULBOUS VACANCY FOR LOYAL EATERS LIKE MYSELF. MCDONALDS AND WENDYS HAVE ELIMINATED THEIR RESPECTIVE SUPER-SIZING OPTIONS AND NOW OFFER SUCH EATIN BLASPHEMIES LIKE SALAD AND WATER. BUT NEVER FEAR UNITED EATERS OF AMERICA BECAUSE BURGER KING IS ESCALATORING UP.
FIRST THE KING BROUGHT US CHICKEN FRIES, AND WHO DIDN’T LOVE THOSE? THEN THEY BROUGHT US THE ENORMOUS OMELET SANDWICH…
NOW, I’M NOT ONE TO COMPLAIN NORMALLY BUT THAT OMELET SANDWICH IS NOT AS ENORMOUS AS I HAD HOPED. SURE THERE ARE MULTIPLE MEAT PATTIES, CHEESE CHEESE AND CHEESE BUT THERE ARE ONLY ABOUT HALF A DOZEN EGGS! NOW YOU’RE TALKING TO A MAN WHO EATS A BAKERS DOZEN AND THAT’S BEFORE NOON. HALF A DOZEN EGGS WILL HARDLY AMOUNT TO AN IMPRESSIVE LOOGEY. THE FACT THAT THE KING GAVE AWAY THEIR FREE CHEESY TOTS DOESN’T MAKE UP FOR THIS UNDER PERFORMING “SANDWICH”. THE NEW BK STACKER HOWEVER IS A SANDWICH THAT HAS CHANGED MY LIFE.
THE CONCEPT: (AND THIS QUOTE COMES DIRECTLY FROM BK.COM)
Get meat and cheese your way with BK™ STACKERS. Choose from double, triple, or quadruple layers of beef and cheese - topped with bacon and sauce. It’s the flame-broiled meat lover’s burger and it’s here to stay - no veggies allowed.
HOW ABOUT THAT!? FINALLY, SOMEONE OUT THERE IS LISTENING TO ME. NO VEGGIES AND AS MUCH MEAT AS YOU WANT. TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE, BURKER KING HAS BECOME THE FIRST RESTAURANT TO OFFER A QUADRUPLE BURGER. MCDONALDS CAN TAKE THEIR FRUIT CUP AND SHOVE IT. I’LL HAVE TWO QUADS AND A TRIPLE BYPASS FOR LUNCH TODAY. MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM….
TED is a foodie of epic proportions (Hell, TED is pro-portions!) who travels the world looking for new tastes while sampling erotic mayonnaises.
If you would like to contact TED you may leave a comment below or email him at TED (at) megorious (dot) com.