Bill O’Reilly: Gay People Like Mayonnaise
Finally! My two favorite things in the whole world have come together: Bill O’Reilly and mayonnaise. Well, not really. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I do enjoy mayonnaise, but I don’t typically enjoy Bill O’Reilly. He’s not very good between two pieces of bread — white bread ONLY, mind you. I prefer turkey, not bologna. But for once I did actually find some amusement in Bill O’Reilly.
The amusement comes in the form of O’Reilly’s phony outrage and confusion over a Heinz mayonnaise commercial airing in Great Britain only. In the commercial, two men share a kiss, thus making them evil mayonnaise-pushing homosexuals. It’s the “gay thing” that confuses O’Reilly. He thinks the underlying subtext is not about mayonnaise but rather about tolerance and gender blending:
So why are they doing that? Why — it was… It was obviously a gay thing. Now I don’t know what the message is, other than gay people like mayonnaise… I’m confused. This whole gender blending thing. It’s confusing to me… I just want mayonnaise. I don’t want guys kissing.
You’ve got to watch the video. O’Reilly is the only one who seems “outraged” by the commercial. Everyone else is just enjoying a good laugh…at O’Reilly’s expense.
My favorite part: “This is not a gay issue. It’s a mayonnaise issue.” Priceless.
They should have known that you can’t talk about mayonnaise for too long before you start to find the situation utterly absurd, which is exactly what happened. And what was with the obscure Wile E. Coyote reference? What point was that guy trying to make?
Now every time Bill O’Reilly slathers mayonnaise on a sandwich he’s going to think of the gays having the sex — doing it live.
When reached for comment, Ketchup wouldn’t respond on the issue, even after pressing him hard and turning him upside down. But after a few minutes at the right angle, he spilled everything.
Mustard didn’t immediately return phone calls, though some sources have alluded to the possibility of a crusty clog in the tip. Critics have harshly accused Mustard of being yellow in the past.
[source: Think Progress]
June 21st, 2008 at 1:48 am
I hate Bill as much as the next non-moron, but even he is smiling in this. Why don’t you try looking at his expression, he is trying to not laugh all the way through. It is clear that even he is not taking himself serious anymore.
June 21st, 2008 at 11:08 am
Well, they do like the man-mayo.
Between this, the “Hezbollah-style fist pumping” and Michelle Malkin calling Rachel Ray a terrorist, Fox News is funnier than Comedy Central (Mencia and the 900th re-run of Caddyshack 2)
June 21st, 2008 at 12:12 pm
Fox News Channelol
June 23rd, 2008 at 8:26 pm
As we all know, Bill O’Reilly is a homophobe. He simply got his bowels in an uproar because two men (same-sex parents) kissed in a humorous commercial. That commericial made it a natural, ordinary occurrence; and that is what pissed-off Bill. He doesn’t ever want homosexuality to be seen as an accepted ordinary, natural occurrence. He doesn’t want to see two people of the same sex EVER kissing in public, especially on television. Homosexuality would become ordinary and accepted — a non-issue — and Bill simply hates to see this come about. He’s a priggish homophobe!