I’m a huge fan of Buffy: The Vampire Slayer — the series, not that movie with Luke Perry — and damn proud of it. Four years ago, Jane Espenson and Eric Wight were developing a Buffy animated series that never really got off the ground. The only known footage of the series that would have been recently popped up on YouTube. Watch it before it disappears.
(read more and watch the video)
After originally denying it, John Edwards admitted to ABC News that he did in fact have an extramarital affair…with a woman. According to the report, Edwards’ wife, Elizabeth, and other family members have known about the affair since 2006.
As someone who wanted Edwards to be the Democratic nominee for president, I am disappointed. But I’m also outraged, too. If Edwards had won the nomination and then this came out, it very well could have ripped apart the Democratic party and doomed any chance of winning the presidency. It was selfish and hypocritical of Edwards to seek public office, especially the presidency.
Considering Edwards is not in office and months ago bowed out of any Veep consideration, this is really isn’t anyone’s business, but be assured the media will jump on it like flies on shit. If he was in office or even President, like when Clinton was in office, then it would matter. He’s just some guy who had an affair. Millions of people do it. It’s not like he’s a U.S. Senator who frequents hookers or seeks out hot man action in public restrooms.
Speaking of bitch, any minute now Senators Larry Craig and David Vitter are scheduled to hold a joint press conference where they will come out and condemn Edwards’ actions. This is a big step for Senator Craig who has been secretly dying to come out for quite some time now.
Let’s also not forget that the Republican nominee for President, Senator John McCain, cheated on his first wife and then left her for a younger woman — and a swimsuit model to boot!
I can’t believe I’m saying this, but Paris Hilton may be smarter than most people (including myself) give her credit for. She seems to know it, too. Check out her brilliantly played response to John McCain’s classless presidential ad that compared Barack Obama to “celebrities” like Hilton and Britney Spears. She refers to John McCain as “McCain” and Barack Obama as “Barack.” I wonder who she’s voting for?
Last November, a special effects technician was killed during a stunt test run.
In January, Heath Ledger died of an accidental drug overdose.
Last month, Christian Bale was arrested by London police on suspicion of assault following a complaint made by his mother and sister.
And just today, Morgan Freeman was hospitalized following a serious car accident in Mississippi.
In the past, other films have been labeled as cursed following accidents and/or deaths involving cast and crew — films such as The Crow, Poltergeist, The Exorcist, The Omen, and most notably, Rosemary’s Baby.
So, is The Dark Knight cursed?
Why is it every time a conservative pundit or columnist makes an attempt at humor they fail miserably? (Hello, Anne Coulter.) Do their frontal lobes lack the humor-processing pathway, thus rendering them incapable of successful satire? Fox News tried out its own conservative version of The Daily Show but failed due to lack of viewership and, oh what’s that other thing — comedy!
Maybe their comedy quandary originated from jealousy. It’s a little like Middle Child Syndrome, but instead of being in the middle, they’re on the right. When people who have a passionate desire to make others laugh simply cannot succeed, they become bitter and disillusioned. They cling to guns and religion and lame quips they obliviously assume are clever. Perhaps what’s most pitiful is that they don’t even realize it; they just assume the audience lacks a sense of humor. Conservative humorists — an oxymoron if there ever was one — can’t be Stephen Colbert because, whether they realize it or not, Colbert is making fun of them and their warped belief structure. That’s why he’s funny. You can only laugh at something that’s tongue-in-cheek if it’s clever. It’s a textbook case of thinking people are laughing with you when they’re actually laughing at you.
Howie Carr’s column from the Boston Herald (of the Apocalypse) “Newspaper” — “Test: How to Tell if You’re a Moonbat” — is a fine example of a botched attempt at humor. It’s basically a lump generalization and somewhat offensive stereotype of liberals, especially those that reside in Massachusetts, as observed by the conservative right. The clinker is not meant to be taken seriously but it’s also nowhere near clever. The delicious tragedy and poetic irony is that Carr isn’t quick enough to understand that he’s not even too clever by half. His delirious sense of self-satisfaction and accomplishment should suffice. Poor little fella.
The fact of the matter is that people like Howie Carr and Anne Coulter think they’re funny, while people like Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert know they’re funny. The sad part is that those who think they’re funny don’t know the difference.
For those who don’t know, moonbat is to a liberal as wingnut is a conservative. The difference here is that moonbat is not recognized as a word in the English language. Wingnut, however, was recently added. I guess the “liberal media” extends to dictionaries now, too.
Merriam-Webster has added more than 100 new entries to its new edition of the Collegiate Dictionary. My favorite — definitely a word I’ll be weaving into my lexicon — is mondegreen. Can you decipher its meaning? A hint: “Very close veins” is a mondegreen for “varicose veins.”
mondegreen (n.) — a word or phrase that results from a mishearing of something said or sung.
According to Merriam-Webster, mondegreen first appeared in the English language in 1954. Its etymology derives from the mishearing in a Scottish ballad of “laid him on the green” as “Lady Mondegreen.”
These words are so new that your spell checker will probably underscore them with squiggly red lines. But it’s probably safe to say that you can start dropping some of these bad boys in Scrabble. A few choice additions of note:
fanboy (n.) — a boy who is an enthusiastic devotee (as of comics or movies).
air quotes (n.) — gesture made by raising and flexing the index and middle fingers of both hands, used to call attention to a spoken word or expression.
edamame (n.) — immature green soybeans, usually in the pod.
pretexting (n.) — the practice of presenting oneself as someone else in order to obtain private information.
webinar (n.) — live, online educational presentation during which participating viewers can submit questions and comments.
wing nut (n.) — 1. a nut with wings that provide a grip for the thumb and finger
2. slang : a mentally deranged person
3. slang : one who advocates extreme measures or changes : radical.
Unlike the majority of fan-made YouTube videos, this tribute to Arrested Development was seamlessly edited and perfectly synced to the most appropriate song — “Flagpole Sitta” by Harvey Danger. Who knew?
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While The Decider ogles Olympic volleyball players in China, a fucking war is raging between Russia and Georgia. Not that we here in America would know seeing as how sex and scandal always outsells despair and anguish. Georgians are literally begging for America’s help and telling the story of a great betrayal by [...]
Clue, the 1985 film based on the Parker Brothers board game of the same name, is my all-time favorite film. I’ve seen it at least a hundred times and know every line by heart. So you could imagine I was a bit distraught after finding out that there could be a remake on [...]
Why is it every time a conservative pundit or columnist makes an attempt at humor they fail miserably? (Hello, Anne Coulter.) Do their frontal lobes lack the humor-processing pathway, thus rendering them incapable of successful satire? Fox News tried out its own conservative version of The Daily Show but failed due to [...]
Merriam-Webster has added more than 100 new entries to its new edition of the Collegiate Dictionary. My favorite — definitely a word I’ll be weaving into my lexicon — is mondegreen. Can you decipher its meaning? A hint: “Very close veins” is a mondegreen for “varicose veins.”
mondegreen (n.) — a word or [...]
(noun) \ ˈpal•in•ˈdrōn \
1. A dull and uninteresting person hopelessly, blindly devoted to another person, cause, or trend for superficial reasons unknown.
2. An oblivious lemming who undermines his or her own human individuality by willfully acquiescing to authority; one who goes with the flow and lacks his or her own free [...]
In 1994, Bobby Jindal wrote a serious essay for the right-wing Catholic journal The New Oxford Review detailing his participation in an exorcism. This is not a joke. The governor of Louisiana exorcised demons from a young woman. But perhaps what is more interesting is that the exorcism also cured the possessed [...]
Finally! My two favorite things in the whole world have come together: Bill O’Reilly and mayonnaise. Well, not really. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I do enjoy mayonnaise, but I don’t typically enjoy Bill O’Reilly. He’s not very good between two pieces of bread — white bread ONLY, mind you. [...]
According to the Westboro Baptist Church (WBC) of Topeka, Kansas, God hates Iowa. Wait, Iowa? God hates Iowa? If there is any state that God might be fond of I would think it could be Iowa. Apparently not….
Why does God hate Iowa? Three words: sod-o-mite!
That’s right. Sod-o-mite! Better [...]
Two summers ago I had a run-in with the Coolidge Corner Animal Abuse Lady. Since then I have learned that no matter what, there will always be a craxy person yelling at people in Coolidge Corner. It’s just too good of a spot. I haven’t seen the Animal Abuse Lady in a [...]
