Hillary Clinton’s Teeth
Despite all of the personal and moral problems I have with Hillary Clinton, despite the fact that she will do anything to ensure that Barack Obama does not win the Democratic nomination or the Presidency, there is one thing, one giant thing that bothers me even more about her: her teeth. I mean seriously, Scope those choppers out.
My God, woman, you are running for President of the United Fucking States. I know you’re trying to appeal to all those blue collar and lower class folk, but gees, can’t you do it another way? There’s already something sinister about your smile (the cackle doesn’t help either) but those front teeth are reprehensible. How are you supposed to take care of an entire country if you can’t even take care of your own dental hygiene? What are you, an anti-dentite?
In a campaign where the media obsesses over superficial issues (hair cuts, flag pins, naps) why hasn’t this issue been brought up? They’ve talked about Hillary’s health insurance plan, but does she have a dental plan? What happens if Lisa needs braces?
It’s 3:00 am. The phone is ringing. It’s your fucking dentist!
April 30th, 2008 at 9:46 pm
Now, now, Ryan! Let’s not get personal… and ugly. There are some things that are wrong about Hillary, but let’s not bring her teeth into the picture. The condition of her teeth is not germane to her ability to lead our country at this critical time. Like you, I support Obama, but I don’t support him because he has better teeth. You are too smart for this!
(It was a funny — tacky… but funny — piece, though!)