Megorious

Obama Win Causes Obsessive Supporters To Realize How Empty Their Lives Are

Voting Machines Elect One Of Their Own As President

The office of President-Elect Barack Obama (boy, that has a great ring to it) officially launched change.gov today to serve as a bridge from the cataclysmic failure that was the Bush administration to the new Obama administration.

Barack Obama is an agent of change but he cannot bring change alone. If people really want to turn this country around it will take a mass social movement from the ground up. There’s no other way it’s going to happen.

Change.gov promotes open government and invites all to share your ideas for change. This is unprecedented in American politics. An incoming administration has basically just put a bottomless suggestion box out for all of the country to use.

“When you choose to serve — whether it’s your nation, your community or simply your neighborhood — you are connected to that fundamental American ideal that we want life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness not just for ourselves, but for all Americans. That’s why it’s called the American dream.”

Additionally, there’s profile information about President-Elect Obama, Vice President-Elect Biden, and the upcoming administration. Plus the Obama-Biden Agenda is laid out — everything from revitalizing the economy, ending the war in Iraq, providing health care for all, protecting America, renewing American global leadership, and more…

You can even apply for a job!

It’s almost impossible to believe that convicted felon Senator Ted Stevens (R, Alaska) might win reelection. Currently Stevens is ahead by 3353 votes. What a corrupt state they have up there.

If Stevens wins and then goes to prison the governor of Alaska would have to appoint a replacement. Gee, I wonder who Sarah Palin would appoint? Perhaps herself, then she could finally get the hell of out of Alaska.

CNN’s Jessica Yellin appeared to Wolf Blitzer via hologram last night. It was literally like something right out of Star Wars.

“Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi; you’re my only hope.”

9:29 — Obama takes Ohio — the first red state to go blue. Without Ohio and Pennsylvania I don’t know how McCain could possibly win.

7:30 — I think I just saw a hologram on CNN….

7:08 — This will be sporadic blogging tonight since I’m cooking dinner in the kitchen.

7:00 — I guess I spoke one minute too soon. MSNBC just called Kentucky for McCain, but it’s still a pretty close race. Vermont goes to Obama.

6:59 — I know it’s early but I cannot believe how close Kentucky is. Kentucky! This is a state where McCain should win handily. But the results on CNN right now show it a close race — within three points!

John McCain couldn’t help but laugh at Tina Fey’s portrayal of his running mate on last night’s Saturday Night Live.

“If you pull this cord he talks for forty-five minutes.”

This would be called a November surprise if it surprised anyone: Apparently Sarah Palin’s staff, which comprises of people from the McCain campaign — the same people who could very well hold jobs in a McCain-Palin administration — are as stupid as she is. And Sarah Palin is fucking stupid…

AP: Palin takes prank call from fake French president:

Sarah Palin unwittingly took a prank call Saturday from a Canadian comedian posing as French President Nicolas Sarkozy and telling her she would make a good president someday.

Listen and laugh…

CrazyRidesRockets sent me this email this afternoon:

Busted!

Please view the attached picture that spells doom for Obama and his minions!
Proof positive that he’s a islamocommuniefascistscaryblackman!!!

Please forward to everyone you know who loves and cares about God and America.

My money, my pretzel!

Socialism, indeed…

The New Yorker takes a look at Senator Chuck Hagel (R, Nebraska), a man who, in a better world with a more rational, modern, mainstream Republican party — one that wouldn’t cater to the extreme right — would be their leader.

Hagel has not officially endorsed either candidate for president.

Last night The Daily Show with Jon Stewart was at the top of its game when talking about Sarah Palin and Joe “the plumber” going rogue.

You can see the full Fox News segment between Shepard Smith and Joe “the plumber” here.

Meanwhile, rougeness seems to be contagious. Last night on The Colbert Report, prominent conservative pundit Stephen Colbert endorsed (but does not support) Barack Obama for President.

Joe “the plumber” stands up John “the maverick.”

Why doesn’t this surprise me?

John McCain’s campaign steered media attention to the story of Ashley Todd and the make-believe incredibly tall black man with shiny shoes who carved (scratched) the backwards letter ‘B’ on her face.

TPM: McCain Communications Director Gave Reporters Incendiary Version Of “Carved B” Story Before Facts Were Known

John McCain’s Pennsylvania communications director told reporters in the state an incendiary version of the hoax story about the attack on a McCain volunteer well before the facts of the case were known or established — and even told reporters outright that the “B” carved into the victim’s cheek stood for “Barack,” according to multiple sources familiar with the discussions.

Of course the story turned out to be just a big, fat lie — and a last ditch effort at race-baiting in western Pennsylvania.

Ashley Todd, the woman who claimed she had the letter ‘B’ carved into her face by an unidentified black assailant, admits she made up the whole thing:

Police sources tell KDKA that a campaign worker has now confessed to making up a story that a mugger attacked her and cut the letter “B” in her face after seeing her McCain bumper sticker…

Investigators did say that they received photos from the ATM machine and “the photographs were verified as not being the victim making the transaction.”

This afternoon, a Pittsburgh police commander told KDKA Investigator Marty Griffin that Todd confessed to making up the story.

The commander added that Todd will face charges; but police have not commented on what those charges will be.

You know, for kids…

(via Andrew Sullivan)

Last night on Saturday Night Live: Weekend Update Thursday, Will Ferrell reprised his role as The Decider and endorsed John McCain (Darrell Hammond) and Sarah Palin (Tina Fey).

I’ve heard of the ‘O’ Face but a ‘B’ face?

A Texas woman volunteering for the GOP in Pittsburgh, PA claims a “dark-skinned African-American, 6 feet 4 inches tall with a medium build and short dark hair, wearing dark clothing and shiny shoes” robbed her and then, after noticing a John McCain bumper sticker on her car, became angry and cut the letter ‘B’ into her face with a knife. The police still cannot substantiate the claim, this is only what the woman said happened.

Despite being made with a knife, as the woman claims, she refused medical care but gracefully accepted media attention. But the best part was that the letter ‘B’ was “cut” backwards — as if made while looking in a mirror. So either the assailant was dyslexic or the woman faked the whole thing.

UPDATE: The victim has been identified as Ashley Todd, 20, of College Station, Texas. Wonkette has screencaps from her Twitter account, as she conveniently documented the whole ordeal.

UPDATE 2: Even conservative blogger Michelle Malkin thinks this stinks.

UPDATE 3: Salon has great rundown of the entire ordeal:

The alleged attack happened Wednesday night, at a local ATM. Todd says her assailant came up behind her while she was using the ATM, put a knife to her throat and demanded money, and that she gave him $60. But then, Todd says, the robber saw her bumper sticker and attacked her, punching her in the back of the head and knocking her down. Todd told police that the man continued to punch and kick her, saying he’d teach her a lesson for supporting McCain. In a later interview, she added that he said, “You are going to be a Barack supporter.” According to Todd, he then sat on her chest, pinning her hands with his knees, and used a dull knife to scratch the letter “B” into her right cheek. WTAE, a local television station, reports that this occurred outside the view of the bank’s security cameras.

…the Web site TMZ.com says it has sources inside the Pittsburgh police who say “they have serious questions about the authenticity of the alleged victim who says she had her face cut by a politically-motivated attacker.” The site also reports that it has been told “there are several things about the alleged attack that don’t add up.” Police reinterviewed Todd Thursday night, the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette reports; the questioning lasted at least five hours. And the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review says investigators plan to administer a polygraph test to Todd, reportedly because her statements conflict with evidence from the scene where she says the attack occurred.

…

Update: Shortly after I posted this, WTAE updated its story on the incident with additional comment from Richard, who said, “We have learned that the victim’s statement has a few inconsistencies in it and her statement has changed.” According to Richard, Todd now says she isn’t sure if it was her bumper sticker that enraged her alleged attacker or a campaign button she wore on her jacket. (Separately, the Post-Gazette reports that she did not originally tell police about the bumper sticker at all.) She has also reportedly added new details to her story, saying she lost consciousness during the attack and also that she was sexually assaulted.

“She indicated that when he had her on the ground he put his hand up her blouse and started fondling her. But other than that, she says she doesn’t remember anything else. So we’re adding a sexual assault to this as well,” Richard said.

UPDATE 4: Ashley Todd admits making up the whole thing.

Back before she was named John McCain’s running mate, Sarah Palin admitted during an interview on CNBC that she didn’t know what the job of vice president consists of, and even asked “What is it exactly that the VeePee does?” After her nomination, that video came back to haunt her.

During the vice presidential debate with Joe Biden earlier this month, Palin claimed she was just joking during the CNBC interview. Well, it turns out that she wasn’t joking. Sarah Palin really has no idea what the vice president does. Perhaps what’s most disconcerting about Palin’s lack of knowledge in regards to the office that she seeks is the fact that she was stumped by a third grader.

On Monday Sarah Palin sat down for an interview with NBC affiliate KUSA. At the end of the interview Palin was asked a write-in question from local 3rd grader Brandon Garcia: “What does the vice president do?” Palin got the answer wrong.

As The Decider would say: “Is our children learning?” Watch and weep:

Move over Joe The Plumber….

Ed O’Neill reprises his role as Al Bundy from Married with Children in Barack Obama’s most brilliant campaign ad to date. Ed O’Neill probably falls in the tax bracket where he wouldn’t get a tax cut, yet he endorses Obama. Further proof that Obama is the right choice.

How much will you save under the Obama-Biden tax plan? Find out here.

I’ve never been to Ohio and while I’m sure most Ohioans aren’t this abrasive, it certainly makes me never want to visit.