After originally denying it, John Edwards admitted to ABC News that he did in fact have an extramarital affair…with a woman. According to the report, Edwards’ wife, Elizabeth, and other family members have known about the affair since 2006.
As someone who wanted Edwards to be the Democratic nominee for president, I am disappointed. But I’m also outraged, too. If Edwards had won the nomination and then this came out, it very well could have ripped apart the Democratic party and doomed any chance of winning the presidency. It was selfish and hypocritical of Edwards to seek public office, especially the presidency.
Considering Edwards is not in office and months ago bowed out of any Veep consideration, this is really isn’t anyone’s business, but be assured the media will jump on it like flies on shit. If he was in office or even President, like when Clinton was in office, then it would matter. He’s just some guy who had an affair. Millions of people do it. It’s not like he’s a U.S. Senator who frequents hookers or seeks out hot man action in public restrooms.
Speaking of bitch, any minute now Senators Larry Craig and David Vitter are scheduled to hold a joint press conference where they will come out and condemn Edwards’ actions. This is a big step for Senator Craig who has been secretly dying to come out for quite some time now.
Let’s also not forget that the Republican nominee for President, Senator John McCain, cheated on his first wife and then left her for a younger woman — and a swimsuit model to boot!
The highchair would like to recognize the distinguished gentleman in diapers from Louisiana. But before you read any further, watch this:
Now, in the first of the three ads that you just saw, imagine the diaper needing to be changed is not that of the Vitter baby but of the senator himself. Now go vomit. I’ll be waiting.
U.S. Senator David Vitter visited a Canal Street brothel several times beginning in the mid-1990s, paying $300 per hour for services at the bordello after he met the madam at a fishing rodeo that included prostitutes and other politicians, according to Jeanette Maier, the “Canal Street Madam” whose operation was shut down by a federal investigators in 2001.
Now, politicians from both parties with torrid sex scandals is nothing new but within the last few years of their dominate power, Republican deviant sex scandals seem to be as rampant as perverse Catholic priests were a few years ago. So what makes the Senator from my home state so special? Well, it’s because back in 1998, during the Clinton impeachment extravaganza, David Vitter made strong statements about extramarital affairs.
Sen. David Vitter (R-LA) first got his start in Congress after replacing former Rep. Bob Livingston (R-LA), who “abruptly resigned after disclosures of numerous affairs” in 1998. At the time, Vitter argued that an extramarital affair was grounds for resignation:
I think Livingston’s stepping down makes a very powerful argument that Clinton should resign as well and move beyond this mess, he said. [Atlanta Journal and Constitution, 12/20/98]
Back in 1998, Bob Livingston, who was briefly nominated to be Speaker of the House, fartyred himself in an attempt to get President Clinton to resign. I remember watching it live on TV. As soon as Livingston stepped down, voices called out “NO!” from the floor of Congress. Livingston’s political career ended that day while David Vitter’s began. But now, nearly a decade since then, David Vitter won’t resign because, unlike President Clinton, God has forgiven him.
This was a very serious sin in my past for which I am, of course, completely responsible. Several years ago, I asked for and received forgiveness from God and my wife in confession and marriage counseling. Out of respect for my family, I will keep my discussion of the matter there _ with God and them. But I certainly offer my deep and sincere apologies to all I have disappointed and let down in any way.
-Senator David Vitter
Thank God for God. I guess as long as you ask for forgiveness, it’s alright to defy the values of those who put you in office. Besides, Senator Vitter did the right thing by coming out and admitting his indiscretions when he easily could have just kept them secret. If that doesn’t exhibit character, I don’t know what doesn’t. Unless of course the only reason Vitter confessed was to beat the embarrassment of being exposed by Larry Flynt’s Hustler Magazine.
Larry Flynt’s ongoing investigation into the dirty secrets of prominent elected officials has exposed another hypocrite. Monday’s confession of marital infidelity by GOP right-wing marriage-protection advocate Senator David Vitter of Louisiana was the result of a multi-pronged investigation launched and run by Larry Flynt, publisher of HUSTLER Magazine.
I never thought Larry Flynt would be the moral authority of America, but his relentless crusade to expose hypocrisy in our grotesquely corrupt government should be applauded. You can read the full Hustler press release HERE.
I have a Libertarian view of sexual ethics. I think, and I’m sure Larry Flynt would agree with me, that people are entitled to their own PRIVATE fetishes and whatnot as long all involved parties are comfortable and of course a fun safe-word is selected. (I like ‘aardvark.’) But David Vitter is a public figure who built his political legacy on the foundations of hypocrisy. He was put into office because of his family values. Perhaps saddest of all is that the people that put David Vitter in office to begin with will probably put him back there. I can almost hear them now, “I don’t care if he goes to brothels and wears diapers, at least he’s pro-life and has family values.”
You might think I’m joking, but Louisiana has a tendency to elect and reelect corrupt politicians. Hell, former four-time Louisiana democratic governor Edwin W. Edwards, who will turn 80 in August, is six years deep in his 10 year sentence after being found guilty on 17 of 26 counts, including racketeering, extortion, mail fraud, and wire fraud.
Lastly, of all of the sleazy details that have come out about David Vitter this past week, one of the creepiest is that during his visits to the New Orleans brothel, he preferred a woman who went by the name of Wendy, which also happens to be his wife’s name. And what does the real Wendy Vitter have to say about all of this? Well, as ABC News notes, back in 1999 The Times-Picayune asked Senator Mrs. Vitter whether she could forgive her husband after an extramarital affair, as Livingston’s wife had done, Wendy Vitter told the Times-Picayune: “I’m a lot more like Lorena Bobbitt than Hillary [Clinton]. If he does something like that, I’m walking away with one thing, and it’s not alimony, trust me.”
So I guess it doesn’t even matter if David Vitter runs for reelection or not. He’s already going to lose his pole.
So, Senator David Vitter; because you are a true American politician; because your poor children have internet access and probably frequent YouTube; and because you make Kathleen Blanco, the incompetent governor of Louisiana, and the other two morons in the below picture look good, I have no choice but to make you the biggest Freak of the Week yet. Thanks buddy.
