Fox News: Rachael Ray is a Terrorist
Rachael Ray is a lot of things: annoying, loud, untalented, gassy, trashy, wide, bilious, skanky, indolent, abominable, abhorrent, bigheaded, smutty, vile, crude, uncouth…But is she a terrorist?
Well, Fox News thinks she just might be one. In a recent television spot for Dunkin’ Donuts — Rachael Ray’s favorite brand of coffee — Ray is wearing a scarf that Fox News commentator Michelle Malkin said resembled a kiffiyeh, a Middle Eastern garb that is “popularized by Yasser Arafat and a regular adornment of Muslim terrorists appearing in beheading and hostage-taking videos.” Charming.
According to MSNBC, Dunkin’ Donuts actually pulled the TV spot citing: “…the possibility of misperception detracted from its original intention to promote our iced coffee.”
But Rachael Ray is not alone. According to Malkin, other secret terrorist cells include actor Colin Farrell, rapper Kanye West, and Democratic National Committee Chairman Howard Dean, all of whom have been photographed in similar scarves that were “distinctive hate couture.”
Contradicting Malken’s scarf theory is the website Stuff White People Like. According to them, white people love scarves:
White People’s body temperatures do not operate on logical or consistent levels, and because of this white people are often forced to wear clothing combinations that might seem strange or illogical. One popular example is the performance vest which solves the age old problem of cold chest hot arms. Another common combination is wearing shorts with a sweatshirt which helps bring about comfort when your upper body is chilly but your lower half is sweltering. But without a doubt, the one piece of clothing that helps to regulate white body temperature in all situations is the scarf.
As Fox News has taught me over the years, only Muslims and Democrats are terrorists. Perhaps Michelle Malkin should start a website called Stuff Terrorists Like. They could even use the slogan, “Death to America runs on Dunkin’.”
I guess this makes me a terrorist by association….
