Finally! My two favorite things in the whole world have come together: Bill O’Reilly and mayonnaise. Well, not really. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I do enjoy mayonnaise, but I don’t typically enjoy Bill O’Reilly. He’s not very good between two pieces of bread — white bread ONLY, mind you. [...]
Read more »»Hello everyone. TED here back from a court-ordered hiatus for more eatin.
It’s been a long time since I posted but I’ve been busy traveling the world sampling erotic mayonnaises. As a matter of fat, I was recently an (unofficial) judge at the Cinco de Mayo(nnaise) festival in Hidden Valley, California. Of course [...]
HELLO AGAIN AMERICA, TED HERE WITH THE LATEST IN EATIN’….
WHILE SOME FAST FOOD CHAINS, LIKE THOSE SUPERCILIOUS BASTARDS AT MCDONALDS, ARE TRYING TO CREATE A HEALTHIER IMAGE FOR THEMSELVES, OTHERS ARE STEPPING UP TO FILL THAT BULBOUS VACANCY FOR LOYAL EATERS LIKE MYSELF. MCDONALDS AND WENDYS HAVE ELIMINATED THEIR RESPECTIVE SUPER-SIZING OPTIONS AND NOW [...]
BEFORE I GET TO THE EATIN, I’D LIKE TO THANK RYAN AND MEGORIOUS’ BOARD OF DIRECTORS FOR ALLOWING ME TO COME BACK AFTER THAT INCIDENT AT THE COMPANY CHRISTMAS PARTY. I HAVE AGREED TO PAY FOR THE DAMAGE INFLICTED ON THE XEROX MACHINE AND FOR COUNSELING SESSIONS FOR THOSE WHO CLAIM THEY WERE “DISTURBED”. [...]
Read more »»My room was deplorable for the last two months, maybe longer. It’s not that I didn’t have time to clean but I also didn’t want to. Slowly, my room was swallowed by my stuff and my bed became an island, accessible only by a clear path around it. My room was buried in books, dirty [...]
Read more »»The following takes place between 8:30pm and 11:42pm.
8:30 - Dustin Hoffman narrates about movies and what they mean to us; the short is filled with scenes from Oscar nominated films and “Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure”.
8:33 – Chris Rock is already yelling and he makes a reference to “Rocky 5″. Bad joke made about [...]