FINAL THOUGHTS: For someone who advocates small American towns, Sarah Palin really hit hard this evening on community organizers. Obama was a community organizer and she was mocking him. The audience laughed. But how will that resonate with small town community organizers across America? They’re mocking them as well.
Things have certainly changed in the last 24 hours. John McCain won Florida last night, with Mitt Romney a close second. Hillary Clinton also won Florida, but no delegates were rewarded since the state was penalized for moving its primary up by a week.
Today, both parties will be striped down to two front runners each, as Rudy Giulliani and John Edwards have both announced they are dropping out of the race. On the Democratic side, that leaves just Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama; on the Republican side, John McCain and Mitt Romney, and, to a lesser extent, Mike Huckabee and Ron Paul.
I’m sad to see Edwards go. He has a distinct voice, much like Dennis Kucinich, that is important at the debates and out on the campaign trail. He’s an advocate for the working class and a crusader for the poor. But ironically, as a white male, he was the minority. So history has already been made, as the Democratic party’s nominee will be either a woman or a black man.
Here’s hoping John Edwards throws his support behind Barack Obama. The Clintons had their chance.
I think The Onion sums up John Edwards the best:
Mysterious Traveler Entrances Town With Utopian Vision Of The Future
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MEGORIOUS: Welcome back candidates. I’d like to begin by following up on our previous topic of terrorism.
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RUDY GIULIANI: 9/11
MEGORIOUS : Welcome Mayor Giuliani.
RUDY GIULIANI: 
MEGORIOUS : Democratic Presidential nominee Barack Obama has gone on record as saying that all options should be on the table when it comes to dealing with Iran.
FRED THOMPSON: Who’s he?
MITT ROMNEY: The black guy.
FRED THOMPSON: Oh right.
MEGORIOUS: Do you agree with Senator Obama?
FRED THOMPSON: He’s a senator?
MEGORIOUS: Yes. He is. From Illinois.
FRED THOMPSON: Fucking affirmitation action.
MIKE HUCKABEE : I think when it comes to facing serious threats to America all options should be left on the table.
RON PAUL: I disagree. Going into Iraq and Afghanistan was a mistake. And threatening Iran is the worst thing we can do for our national security. These statements about leaving everything on the table are reckless.
MITT ROMNEY: I agree with Huckleberry. Nothing should be taken off the table.
JOHN MCCAIN: What table are we talking about here? How big is it?
MEGORIOUS: It’s a metaphor, Senator McCain.
MITT ROMNEY : The only thing Barack Osama is going to take off the table is the cornbread.
RON PAUL: That’s racist.
MITT ROMNEY: I know you are but what am I 
FRED THOMPSON: Why are we even discussing this mythological black senator? He won’t win. A woman stands a better chance of becoming president in this country. Just as long as she’s white.
MEGORIOUS: Like, say, Senator Clinton?
FRED THOMPSON: I said woman.
MITT ROMNEY: GodziLOLa!
RUDY GIULIANI: I think my constituents are missing the point here. 9/11. Polls show I am the only candidate who stands a chance of beating Hillary.
MITT ROMNEY: Yeah, just like you beat your wives.
RUDY GIULIANI: Oh like you don’t beat your wives.
MITT ROMNEY: That wasn’t meant to be sarcasm. Of course I do.
MEGORIOUS: What? Governor Romney, was that an admission of spousal abuse?
MITT ROMNEY: Ummmmmm… Duh. All Republicans do it.
RON PAUL: I beg your pardon?
MITT ROMNEY: That’s what she said.
MEGORIOUS: All Republicans beat their wives?
RON PAUL: NO!
MITT ROMNEY: Yeah.
MEGORIOUS: Who here beats his wife?
MITT ROMNEY: I do.
MIKE HUCKABEE: Me too.
JOHN MCCAIN: And me.
MITT ROMNEY: I also beat my dog.
JOHN MCCAIN: I beat his dog too.
MITT ROMNEY: Yeah but I beat him way more.
RUDY GIULIANI: I waterboard my dog. And I beat all four of my wives.
MEGORIOUS: Four? I thought you’ve only been married three times?
RUDY GIULIANI: Oh. Right. Three. I beat all three of my wives. Sometimes I get confused because I like to beat other men’s wives.
FRED THOMPSON: I out-source the beating of my wife. I like to watch. She prefers it that way.
RUDY GIULIANI: I bet she does.
MITT ROMNEY: Dude, I would donkey punch your wife so hard.
FRED THOMPSON: After the beating I like to prosecute the beater.
RON PAUL: I’m sorry but are you all insane?
MEGORIOUS: Congressman Paul are you saying you don’t beat your wife?
RON PAUL: Hell no I don’t beat my wife!
FRED THOMPSON: Oh big surprise there.
RUDY GIULIANI: How are you supposed to beat the terrorists if you can’t even beat your own wife?
MEGORIOUS: I’m in shock here.
RUDY GIULIANI: Over what?
MEGORIOUS: That you all beat your wives.
RON PAUL: I don’t!
FRED THOMPSON: All Republicans beat their wives.
JOHN MCCAIN: And lie.
MIKE HUCKABEE: And steal.
MITT ROMNEY: And rig elections.
RUDY GIULIANI: And solicit gay sex in airport bathrooms.
RON PAUL: I DON’T!!!1
MITT ROMNEY: Can we put Ronny on iggy or something?
RON PAUL has been ignored.
RUDY GIULIANI: That’s better.
During a speech yesterday, Mitt Romney “misspoke” not once but twice when referring to Barack Obama and Osama bin Laden.
Actually, just look at what Osam — Barack Obama — said just yesterday. Barack Obama, calling on radicals, jihadists of all different types, to come together in Iraq. That is the battlefield… It’s almost as if the Democratic contenders for president are living in fantasyland. Their idea for jihad is to retreat, and their idea for the economy is to also retreat. And in my view, both efforts are wrongheaded.
Back in July, Romney posed for a photo opp with a supporter sporting a poster that said, “No to Obama, Osama and Chelsea’s Moma [sic].”
As we all know, Republicans are more likely than Democrats to find themselves in a chatroom. That’s why here at Megorious we thought why not get them all in a chatroom and ask the tough questions. So that’s exactly what we did. This is the first in what I can only hope will be a series of chatroom debates with the Republican presidential candidates. Today’s debate topic will be terrorism.
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MITT ROMNEY has entered the chat.
MITT ROMNEY: ASL?
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MEGORIOUS: I’d like to welcome all of those who found the time in their busy schedules to attend this, the first ever Republican Presidential chatroom debate.
FRED THOMPSON has entered the chat.
FRED THOMPSON: Sorry I’m late.
FRED THOMPSON: I was napping.
MITT ROMNEY: OLD!
FRED THOMPSON: Where’s Rudy?
MITT ROMNEY: I think he had to get a divorce.
MEGORIOUS: We’ll start without him…
MEGORIOUS: Do you believe you could do a better job than the Democrats in preventing another 9/11-style terrorist attack on the United States?
FRED THOMPSON: yes
RON PAUL: yes
MITT ROMNEY: yes
MIKE HUCKABEE: yes
JOHN MCCAIN: no
JOHN MCCAIN: I mean yes
JOHN MCCAIN: LOL
MITT ROMNEY: WTF?
MEGORIOUS: Do you believe the election of Senator Hillary Clinton as president would increase the chances of the U.S. being hit by another 9/11-style terrorist attack?
RUDY GIULIANI has entered the chat.
RUDY GIULIANI: 9/11
RUDY GIULIANI: Sorry I’m late.
RUDY GIULIANI: 9/11
MEGORIOUS: Welcome Mayor Giuliani. We were just discussing Senator Clinton.
RUDY GIULIANI: CUNT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!911
RUDY GIULIANI: Being the first lady doesn’t make her qualified to be President.
MEGORIOUS: She has been a senator for many years now. Some might say that you are under-qualified to be President having only been a mayor.
RUDY GIULIANI: But I was mayor of 9/11.
RUDY GIULIANI: on 9/11
RUDY GIULIANI: LOL
RUDY GIULIANI: 9/11
RUDY GIULIANI: I was there when those towers fell. You might even say I was on those planes.
RUDY GIULIANI: Actually wait, don’t say that.
RON PAUL: WTF?
RUDY GIULIANI: 9/11
MITT ROMNEY: If I could interject here for a minute….
MITT ROMNEY: Hillary Clinton is not fit to run this country. She’d be better suited in a more controlled position.
FRED THOMPSON: Yeah…as one of your wives.
MITT ROMNEY: fuck you grandpa
JOHN MCCAIN: May I say something?
MITT ROMNEY: NO!
FRED THOMPSON: No.
FRED THOMPSON: You may not.
RON PAUL: Seriously guys show some respect.
RON PAUL: He was a POW.
MITT ROMNEY: LOLZ
MITT ROMNEY: POW!
FRED THOMPSON: BAM!
MITT ROMNEY: ZOINK!
RUDY GIULIANI: 9/11’d!
MITT ROMNEY: OMG U R soooooooooo annoying
MITT ROMNEY: Hey Rudy, UR wife left her bra at my place last night.
FRED THOMPSON: Which one?
MITT ROMNEY: Which bra?
FRED THOMPSON: No, which wife?
JOHN MCCAIN: Are you sure it wasn’t his bra?
MITT ROMNEY: LOLLERSKATES!
MITT ROMNEY: You just got PWNED.
MITT ROMNEY: by a POW
MITT ROMNEY: POWNED!
RON PAUL: odfhgdsfgfigfsdagretfgvndsfajlkberopg
MITT ROMNEY: oh nos!
MITT ROMNEY: Ron Paul’s mad again.
RUDY GIULIANI: I’m scared.
RUDY GIULIANI: Hold me.
FRED THOMPSON: faggot
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MITT ROMNEY: LOL.
MITT ROMNEY: McCain left.
FRED THOMPSON: Maybe he was taken prisoner.
MITT ROMNEY: LOL
RON PAUL: Not cool.
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FRED THOMPSON: Is it just me or is that Ron guy nuts?
MITT ROMNEY: It’s just you.
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MITT ROMNEY: Mikey left.
RUDY GIULIANI: Who was that guy?
MITT ROMNEY: I think he’s governor of Wal*Mart or something.
FRED THOMPSON: retards
FRED THOMPSON: nap time
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RUDY GIULIANI: hello?
RUDY GIULIANI: anyone?
RUDY GIULIANI: 9/11?
MITT ROMNEY: I think it’s just us.
RUDY GIULIANI: oh.
RUDY GIULIANI: wanna cyber?
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I pick on Mitt Romney a lot because, well, I don’t think someone who could barely run the state of Massachusetts should be allowed to be President. He’s also a hypocrite and a bigger flip-flopper than John Kerry.
The Romney campaign recently came up with this ingenious contest that asks supporters to create and submit video campaign ads. Here’s the one Slate created.
A fuchsia flyer, discovered by ABC News, has surfaced online that normally wouldn’t be a big deal but is in this case because it just so happens to be a Mitt Romney for Governor flier wishing a “great pride weekend.” It also states that “all citizens deserve equal rights regardless of their sexual preference.”
Where do they find these people? It seems every time I read the news, some republican deviant is being arrested or spanked in a diaper. This time it was Idaho Senator Larry Craig who was arrested back in June for “lewd conduct.”
Craig’s arrest occurred just after noon on June 11 at Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport. On August 8, he pleaded guilty to misdemeanor disorderly conduct in the Hennepin County District Court. He paid more than $500 in fines and fees, and a 10-day jail sentence was stayed. He also was given one year of probation with the court that began on August 8.
Craig’s big argument is that his actions were “misinterpreted,” though I’m not sure what that means since the thorough police report indicates that Craig is rather familiar with the routine for hot rest stop filibusting action.
Up until yesterday, Craig was the senate republican liaison for Mitt Romney’s presidential campaign, but he’s no longer mit Mitt. Now it’s only a matter of time before Craig resigns from the senate.
Craig’s arrest also raises questions about the true meaning of his 1999 criticism of President Clinton when he said, “Bad boy, Bill Clinton. You’re a naughty boy. The American people already know that Bill Clinton is a bad boy, a naughty boy.”
It now appears that Craig’s criticism was nothing more than a sad attempt at dirty talk aimed to get the President to notice him.
You know, if the Republican Party was more accepting of all people and stopped sexually suppressing themselves, maybe they would stop lurking around men’s room stalls every time they need to get off. The fact of the matter is that they did this to themselves and now they have to pay the price.
First it was priests molesting little boys, now the party that claims to stand for moral values is becoming the very thing they claim is destroying America. But what’s really destroying America is their double standard of do as we say, not as we do on our knees.
Where are your family values now?
