Today marks the beginning of my least favorite time in Boston: Patriots Day, better known as the day of the Boston Marathon. (As usual, I’m sure a Kenyan will win.)

While the weather is beautiful and will remain pleasant until the hot, humid doldrums of summer, I simply hate this time of year in this city. There are people everywhere, the trains are slow and overcrowded (more so than usual) with tourists and Red Sox fans. And of course, with the Red Sox, comes the incessant, mindless screaming of drunk yeah dudes and their babbling bitches.

Last night I had to listen to said screaming while trying to read peacefully. For more that four hours all I could hear was piss-poor drunken singing, and redundant cheers of, “YEAHHHHHHH!” and “WOOOOOO!” and of course, “FUCKKKKKKKK YEAHHHHHHHHH! WOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

I’m not even sure if a game was on or if they were just watching Family Guy. Either way, it went on well into the night and resumed this morning just before noon. Even now as I type this at 3:30 in the afternoon, I can hear some form of affirmative response screaming coming from next door.

It’s a pity really; the weather is so nice out and all I want to do is open the windows and let in the cool, dry breeze, but I can’t because if I did, the volume of yeah dudes and babbling bitches would practically put them in my home.

“My home, Elaine. My home! The place where I sleep and come to play with my toys.”

Well, the Boston Red Sox have made it to the World Series once again - a fairly impressive feat considering they were just there three short years ago. Funny how before 2004 they hadn’t won the national championship since 1918. Then I move to Boston and they make it to the World Series twice. Coincidence? Probably. We’ll see how they do once I leave Boston next year. Either way i could care less…

I normally wouldn’t quote the irritating Jar Jar Binks but I feel that his heartfelt line from 1999’s The Phantom Menace is appropriate for this situation. People in Boston know how to party. They love to drink and they especially love to get rowdy. The riot police were already out after the Red Sox’s victory over the Cleveland Indians earlier this week. You can bet they’ll be out in full-force starting tonight and every night until the World Series ends.

Back in 2004, after the Red Sox beat the Yankees, more than 80,000 screaming, belligerently-drunk fans crowded near Fenway Park. As the crowd grew more unruly they began breaking things, climbing on cars and lampposts, and swinging from trees. And that’s how they behaved when the Red Sox won. Imagine what would have happen if they had lost…

Naturally the city’s riot police came out in full-force. That’s when Victoria Snelgrove, a 21-year-old Emerson student, was hit in the eye with a pepper-spray canister. She died several hours later.

Regardless if the Red Sox win or lose, here’s hoping the police and, especially the people of Boston, can control themselves by exercising enough restraint for the sake of preventing another needless tragedy.

Boston used to be a city where people died for a purpose. I wish I lived in that Boston.