Amy decided to move out. YES! Though she is gone now, her exodus was the most excruciating process that I have ever been through. Amy planned on moving out the last weekend of June, that left us with less than three weeks to find a replacement for her. Plus we still were looking for Kathryn’s replacement. To add to the problems we hit severals snags with potential roommates. The first three roommates we liked we had to pass on because Amy didn’t like them. Then she decided to move out. She could have saved all of us a lot of time (and money) but she didn’t.

Once the dust cleared we ended up going with my school chum Valentina and Nick, a musician. Valentina couldn’t move in until September, so we found a sub-leaser, Peter, for her room for the summer. Nick couldn’t move in until the end of June, making Amy legally responsible for June rent. Amy didn’t take this news well.

Below are the final emails exchanged between Wednesday, May 10 and June 1, 2006.

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Oh my my my my my my my my my. Here’s a quick recap of where things stood around 1:30 PM on Tuesday, May 9, 2006:

• Amy is a big freak.
• Amy is trying to cheat Kathryn out of getting her deposit back**.
• Amy still has no clue when I am available to show the apartment.
• Ryan is available thrice as much as Amy is to show the apartment.
• Sarra, the potential roommate, is just as big of a freak.

**The way the roommate change works is very simple. When someone moves in, they pay first and last month’s rent and a security deposit ($1537.50). When someone moves out they find a replacement. The replacement pays their first month’s rent ($615) to our landlord. Last month’s rent and the deposit ($922.50) is paid to the roommate they are replacing. There is no penalty for breaking the lease. It just that since Boston is a college town, the landlord doesn’t want to deal with the refunding of moneys. It’s left up to the tenants to work out. Every single person who has moved into our apartment has done it this way. Amy just decided to attempt to alter the procedure this time.

Now, this is where things get nasty…

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When we last left off, Amy had arranged for some girl named Alison to come and see the apartment at 9:15 PM on Monday, May 8, 2006. I repeatedly told Amy that I would NOT be home at that time. She either didn’t read those emails or was so absorbed in her own warped world that the information failed to register in her lazy brain. I’ll go with the latter. I wasn’t supposed to be home but my plans were canceled at the last minute so I was home for the evening. Kathryn also had two guys scheduled to come earlier in the evening but, of course, Amy couldn’t be there. One of Kathryn’s friends never showed, though he did call every hour to say he would be there shortly. Punctuality precipitates persona people!

This next slew of emails took place Tuesday, May 9, 2006 before 1:30 PM.

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And so on….

My big freak of a roommate turned the seemingly simple assignment of finding a new roommate into an all out unwarranted attack on my character. [For the record, my character is Ryan.] After a morning of sitting back and ignoring Amy’s ridiculous emails I decided to strike back. Before you read the emails below I suggest reading the first string of emails so that you will understand exactly what I am talking about. The emails that follow are from the same day, Monday May 8, 2006, as the previous emails. This new slew of badgering came after Amy’s lunch. Remember, this is still Monday.

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The roommate search is not off to a good start. Below are the email exchanges that took place between Sunday night and Monday afternoon. Pay particular attention to the times of the emails, especially the early Monday morning emails. Amy is impatient and needs immediate gratification, just like when Amy came crashing into my room at five in the morning.

These emails are in their original state and the content has not been altered in any way.

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I haven’t talked about my roommate Amy a lot because frankly, she is so insane that most people would think I just made her up. Amy is 29 and sober. She’s been in the program (Alcoholics Anonymous) for about a year and a half now. She goes to roughly ten meetings a week and leads her entire life by their rules. She can’t make a single decision without discussing it in a committee. Basically, the program has made her crazy by making her list every messed up thing that has ever happened to her throughout her life.

One thing I have learned about Amy after living with her for a year is that she firmly believes that everyone who is not in the program is a sick alcoholic. When I first moved in she was very forceful in trying to get me to go to meetings with her. I told her I didn’t have a problem and she replied with the textbook standard, “Denial is the first sign.” Well, you just can’t win in that case. When I first moved in here I was in a non-drinking mood. I actually went six months without having one drink. Amy told me this was one of the fist signs. I thought denial was the first sign? She told me then that the next time I would have a drink that I wouldn’t be able to stop. My life would spiral down into a haze unless I got help. I had one beer that night and didn’t have another for a month. Amy told me the first sign of alcoholism was not drinking. How many first signs are there? Even though we obviously don’t like each other, Amy and I usually get along. Probably because she’s never here and we hardly see each other.

There was one incident last fall though….
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